ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
