sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
