Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
