your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
