Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize