He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
