This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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