Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
