so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
