they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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