i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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