You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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