Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
her facebook's as public as her vagina
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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