yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize