i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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