i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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