Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
