She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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