You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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