forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
