i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
