3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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