in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i may or may not be watching the land before time
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I can't turn off my feet"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
