your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
