So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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