1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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