I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize