Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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