...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
