no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
