Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
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