didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Floor bacon is actually really good
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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