so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
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I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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