had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
