How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
