Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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