We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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