we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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