I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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