The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
