A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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