Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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