i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize