saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
