I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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