Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
