yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
