my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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