he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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