i think my tv is drunk
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
