I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
