I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
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Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
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