we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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