i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
