Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
