either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
