I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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