is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
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The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
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Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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