I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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