The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
