I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize