and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
